How to fix a sandwich like a third grader.
Step one: Take the ham and cheese out of the fridge.
Step two: Complain that you can't find the bread in the pantry, even though it's already on the counter, six inches from where you sat the meat and cheese.
Step three: Realize the bread was there the whole time, and smack yourself in the forehead while saying "Silly me! It was there the whole time!" Repeat this step until a parent acknowledges your forehead smacking and silliness.
Step four: Put meat on your sandwich, then spend the next seven minutes herding the cats so you can split a piece of ham between them.
Step five: Get mad at the fly taking advantage of your unattended sandwich.
Step six: Put cheese on your sandwich, then spin around the kitchen with your arms out for thirty-eight seconds.
Step seven: Trip over rabbits, who have been attracted by your spinning and flailing. Stop to pet them and give them each a veggie treat from the fridge.
Step eight: Step on a sandbur, then have Mom pull it out.
Step nine: Shoo off that pesky fly again, then put the top bread slice on your sandwich.
Step ten: Eat exactly four bites of your sandwich and declare yourself full. Hand the rest to Daddy, then ask for ice cream. Be disappointed when you're told no.
Step one: Take the ham and cheese out of the fridge.
Step two: Complain that you can't find the bread in the pantry, even though it's already on the counter, six inches from where you sat the meat and cheese.
Step three: Realize the bread was there the whole time, and smack yourself in the forehead while saying "Silly me! It was there the whole time!" Repeat this step until a parent acknowledges your forehead smacking and silliness.
Step four: Put meat on your sandwich, then spend the next seven minutes herding the cats so you can split a piece of ham between them.
Step five: Get mad at the fly taking advantage of your unattended sandwich.
Step six: Put cheese on your sandwich, then spin around the kitchen with your arms out for thirty-eight seconds.
Step seven: Trip over rabbits, who have been attracted by your spinning and flailing. Stop to pet them and give them each a veggie treat from the fridge.
Step eight: Step on a sandbur, then have Mom pull it out.
Step nine: Shoo off that pesky fly again, then put the top bread slice on your sandwich.
Step ten: Eat exactly four bites of your sandwich and declare yourself full. Hand the rest to Daddy, then ask for ice cream. Be disappointed when you're told no.